Those of you who know me will know that I respect all wildlife and critters of this world. After all, my Lady Wife and I’ve moved to a part of the country where it’s not uncommon for ponies, ducks, otters and other species of wildlife to have the right-of-way on many of the roads here in our neck of the woods.
I have problems with swatting flies… Mrs. Fly at home with her 3000 kids waiting for Mr. Fly to come home… bad news…
I even have problems with hoovering away cobwebs… Mr. Spider comes home from a hard day’s work… “Where’s my house?!”… not good…
However, when it comes to one particular member of the animal kingdom… I’m afraid that the rules of engagement have now changed…
You might remember my posting entitled FYI DIY where I mentioned that I was growing some sunflowers…
A week or so ago I planted out some sunflower shoots into our garden from the large pot where I’d been growing them. I’d lovingly water them and marvelled how just by planting those tiny seed things they’d grow into young plants as if by magic…
A few days ago I strolled around our garden like a real gardener… mug of coffee in hand and nonchalantly wandering through the garden like a real pro…
“Hmmm… I could have sworn that I planted a shoot there… that one there’s ok… what about over there..?”
Maybe I hadn’t planted some shoots that I thought I had…
So I planted some more… into the spaces where I thought I had planted the others…
Ok, so my Lady Wife’s a bit of a gardening expert, however, I like to learn by design… It would be so easy to ask her the best way of doing something like this, but to quote Thomas Edison, “Just because something doesn’t do what you planned it to do doesn’t mean it’s useless.…”
Besides, me asking my Lady Wife for help with planting a few seeds would be like Mrs. Picasso asking Mr. Picasso for help with her painting-by-numbers colouring book 
However, my Lady Wife only had to say one word when I mentioned to her that I thought I had planted more shoots than I could find…
“Slugs.”
On closer inspection I noticed tiny little nibbled stumps where indeed I had planted those elusive shoots. Yep, nibbled right down below soil level… the leaves… stem… the whole shoot… the lot… gone…
It was as if a smart bomb had gone off in our garden and only decimated young sunflower shoots.
Hmmm… was that the smell of napalm I could smell in the morning or was it the smell of after-dinner cigars that the slugs had been smoking during the night?
So, while I was sleeping during the night, catching up on a year’s sleep deprivation, the local slug delegation was quite happily sitting around in their mulch-lined winged-back armchairs clinking brandy glasses, smoking after-dinner cigars while digesting their smorgasbord of delicious shoots I had kindly planted out for them.
I could just imagine them setting off before sunrise saying, “See you guys tonight…”
Now it makes sense to me when my Lady Wife would go outside in the evening with a torch and her “Slug Re-Homing” kit.
Slug Pellets are a no-no as far as we’re concerned but as a techie, I had a contingency plan… oh yes… a contingency plan…
As a techie I always believe in back-ups… oh yes indeed…
My back-up has consisted of keeping 50% of the shoots still in the large pot… just in case…
Now these shoots in the large pot are more substantial… not so young and not so ripe for slug teeth…
Get ready for some indigestion guys!
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be outwitted by slugs
How different the art world would be if Van Gogh had had slugs in his garden at the Yellow House…
Hmmm…. just a thought…
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Wow…I find that really funny. I love slugs..but not in the garden. I was devistated when i was 10, I had nurtured these broad bean plants and i planted them in the garden and the snails ate them all. I have never grown anything since. You had me chuckling away while reading your post and after the day ive had…it was great.
Hi weirddreamer – thanks for your kind comment and for reading my blog.
This has been my first real taste of gardening and obviously it’s been a great “taste” for the slugs too…
Watch this space
Stay strong.
Alex
Oh I am doing a lot better. Im working so much all I do is eat sleep and work…no time to dwell on the rest. I loved the mental image of the slugs with drink and stuff…
Hi there weirddreamer
Sometimes I find that throwing myself into work is a great remedy when things get a little bumpy.
Glad you like the post and as always, many thanks for reading my blog and for taking the time to leave a comment.
No need to thank me. It is my pleasure. Yeah as I said im doing a lot better. I think shifting my focus was what the doc ordered. I am now able to talk about Kym and not get so emotional I cant speak let alone think.
Life is looking up.
Hi weirddreamer
Great to hear that life is looking up… yep… sometimes a good shift of focus is what’s needed… looking at life in a different way…
Enjoy and stay strong.