My New Podcast - “The New Forest Podcast”

Well, it’s done… my first podcast is up and running

Head on over to www.newforestpodcast.co.uk

Hope you like it.

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Neglected

You’re right, I’ve neglected this blog lately.

With the better weather here and the opportunity to get on with jobs around the house as well as taking advange of the great weather with leisurely walks around the cliff tops and the beach, I’ve found that I’ve been switching on my computer a lot less lately.

Usually I’m on my computer every opportunity; playing with my blogs, getting my new podcast ready, playing with digital artwork and so on, but with the better weather here as well as feeling quite tired due to the vertigo and the medication I’ve been on, getting down with yet another ear infection finding the time  the energy and motivation to do all the  has been a bit tricky.

Yes, that’s right, I’m working on a new podcast.

Those of you who produce your own podcast will know about some of the things needed before you can launch your podcast; sorting out my XML feed, coming up a an easy-to-stick-to format, gathering together bumpers, intros, outros and so on.

No, the podcast won’t be related to this blog, well, not directly but I will post details here once I’ve got about 6 episodes under my belt.

If you really want to know where my podcast will be then feel free to drop me an email.

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A Problem Shared Is No Problemo

I’ve never been a part of any support group although in various jobs I have dealt with them and so I know what they do. More importantly I know how they work.

As you know, my vertigo has come back with a vengeance and I’ve been battling the monster for about 3 months now; my last attack being 2 years ago and which lasted for about 5 months.

A chap at my workplace has the same thing - vertigo induced by labyrinthitis.

I don’t know if you’re part of any support group, but if you’ve got some sort of problem which is shared by other people, you might find it more helpful than you know discussing things in such a group.

I found simply talking with someone who actually “gets” what I’m talking about totally and refreshingly helpful and educational. I guess I learned more about vertigo and labyrinthitis from just a few minutes of chatting with a fellow spinner than I have done ever since Mr. Vertigo decided to take up residence in my inner ears.

Apparently, the medication I’m on could probably knock out a horse to sleepy land at 500 paces… no wonder I’ve been incredibly tired recently; mooching around and saying things to my Lady Wife like, “Have we had supper yet?” I thought I had aged by about 40 years prematurely.

It’s bad enough having your head spin inside around a 100 times a day and deal with that distraction as well as your meds screwing you up too. This fellow worker only takes my type of meds in an emergency. “Heck”, I said, “I take it 3 times a day!” No wonder I’ve been knocking back the strong black coffees like there’s no tomorrow. Still, whatever gets me through the working day.

As for the Epley Maneuver… don’t ask… I haven’t been a good boy when it’s come to that…

Only now do I “get” how a support network can help.

“A problem shared is a problem halved”, is a phrase that comes to mind. Try and share your problem with someone who has the same problem as yourself as opposed to dumping your problems on to other people.

Now if you excuse me, I have to get back to my Kylie Karaoke…

“…I’m, spinning around… Move out of my way… I know you’re feelin’ me ’cause you like it like this…”
… etc…
If you battle with vertigo or labyrinthitis you might be interested in the following links:

www.labyrinthitis.org.uk
www.menieres.co.uk
www.vestibular.org/vestibular-disorders/symptoms.php
www.raysahelian.com/vertigo.html
www.dizziness-and-balance.com

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Just Asking…

You know how sometimes thoughts can drift into your head that have nothing to do whatsoever with what you’re doing or are completely unrelated to anything at all?  Well here’s one…

You know that song by Queen?   Don’t Stop Me Now?  Anyway… (now I have NO idea who this daft thought came into my head…) the lyrics go…

“I’m burning through the sky yeah!
Two hundred degrees
That’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit”

… er… now correct me if I’m wrong… but shouldn’t that be…

…”Mister Centigrade“?

Just asking…

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Totally Agree With Uncle Terrence

Did you watch last night’s Eurovision Farce Song Contest?

Did you agree with Uncle Terrence’s sentiments and comments?

I totally agree with all his comments.

It’s no longer a music contest and purely based on political voting.

Some links that might interest you include

Showbiz figures back Sir Terry

Wogan unhappy at UK Eurovision flop

Wogan backed over Eurovision attack

Eurovision about politics, not songs: Wogan

Wogan Ponders Eurovision Future

Terry Wogan Considers Eurovision Future Following UK Flop

Eurovision Song Contest: Sir Terry Wogan questions his future as UK limps in last

Eurovision about politics, not songs: Wogan

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Tum Tum Tuh-Tuh-Tuh Tum Tahhhh Tuh Tum…

From the opening strains of Tum Tum Tuh-Tuh-Tuh Tum Tahhhh Tuh Tum…. the prelude to Marc-Antoine Charpentier’s Te Deum we know we’re in for our traditional annual fun-fest

For any of you colonial brethren on the other side of the pond, here in Euroland we have something that’s called the Eurovision Song Contest.

It’s a “song” contest that’s, well… it’s quite difficult to describe. Let’s just say that it’s kitsch, camp, fun and annually highly addictive… well, for me and the Lady Wife it is, anyway. Now that the Eurovision Song Contest has been regarded as relatively cool-ish, I can admit that the Lady Wife and I have been fans for what seems like forever. Even when admitting to liking the event would have been slightly embarrassing.

If you don’t know, the Eurovision Song Contest is a massive live annual TV event in which member countries of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU) have a contest to see who performs the best song and then in turn hosts the following year’s event. The television event itself is transmitted across the Eurovision Network by the EBU simultaneously to all countries… yep, it’s one big party!

Strangely enough, given the name being “Euro”vision, you get countries like Morocco and Israel taking part. Don’t ask me why, but that’s not the only quirky thing about the whole Eurovision fest.

The whole thing started way back in 1956. Back then it was a huge event seeing European countries come together for an event like never before and with a then massive television audience of 4 million people tuning in.

This year, for the first time in the history of the Eurovision Song Contest, there are two semi-finals to decide which 25 countries will be represented in the final on Saturday 24th May. You might be interested to know that the first ever Eurovision Song Contest was also held on the 24th of May in 1956.

The event itself is more like a party than a serious song contest, although some countries do seem to take it more seriously unlike us here in the UK. Here we see it for what it is… high-camp tongue-in-cheek fun, not to be taken seriously. Of course the Eurovision Song Contest wouldn’t be what it is without our very own Uncle Terrence at the helm; sprinkling his commentary with his very own inimitable quips that reflect the way the Eurovision Song Contest should be taken with regards to taste.

Together with questionable voting from countries, outlandish costumes and sets on occasions, with a veritable smorgasbord of cultural quirkiness the annual event is always something my Lady Wife and I look forward to.

It’s always a bottle of fermented grape juice, some munchies together with a take-away (take-out) while we settle down, switch on the box, switch off our minds, kick back and soak in the razzmatazz of the contest.

Without fail, we always doze off once all the acts have taken part and the voting starts and wake up near the end of the voting by the crowd cheering or jeering at either a “nil points” or “douze points” interspersed with Uncle Terrence’s cutting quips regarding the very questionable voting among the Balkan and Scandinavian participants.

All in all it’s a great event, like I said earlier, one big kick-ass party all across Euroland.

It’s fun, it’s infuriating, it’s cool and it’s kitsch; all rolled up into one big pink sugary almond bon-bon with fluffy bits on the inside and rhinestones and glitterballs on the outside.

We love it.

Bring it on

Tum Tum Tuh-Tuh-Tuh Tum Tahhhh Tuh Tum……

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For a taste of a typical Eurovision Song Contest, check out this PDF document entitled “Eurovision I-Spy” from the BBC at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/eurovision/party/eurovision_i_spy.pdf

Eurovision links worth douze points include.
www.bbc.co.uk/eurovision/
www.bbc.co.uk/eurovision/about/history.shtml
www.eurovision.tv
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurovision_Song_Contest

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Teaching Creatively

I’ve always enjoyed teaching people what I know and the rewards of teaching are… well… rewarding… to me at least.

Seeing someone improve upon their confidence, their skills base and to take the knowledge I give them to advance to the next level has always been a creative process for me.

Not everyone learns in the same way, not everyone uses certain skills in the same way and that to me is the creative challenge that I miss while I haven’t been teaching.

I’ve been privileged to have taught people from all walks of life from the age of about 17 to over 60 years of age.

I’ve taught people who were getting ready to start work, to people who were retired, to people with disabilities; physical and mental. I’ve taught people who were “big shots” in the city, to people who had never worked yet. I’ve taught people of all colours and creeds and it’s the teaching and learning which I found to be a great leveller. I’ve learned so much about people while teaching… and I’ve learned a lot about myself.

I also know that while I teach, I love learning new skills myself in order to keep a freshness in my own teaching abilities and techniques. I love reading through the blogs I’m subscribed to… and as you can imagine I’m subscribed to more than just a few techie and gadget blogs on in addition to the non-techie blogs I follow. I’m a avid podcast junky and once again, as well as non geeky and non techie podcasts, I listen to quite a few techie and gadget podcasts.

While I was in teaching, I’d have a ferocious appetite for keeping up with the latest developments in new and social media and all manner of techie stuff. The more I’d teach, the more I’d want to learn and stay fresh. I had the impetus, the momentum.

The more I’d learn, the more I’d want to give my knowledge away and share my own passion with others. I’d be a conduit for all the learning I myself would devour.

I’d also always be aware that to be a good teacher you have to be a good listener.

Ask anyone… I’m a great listener… and that’s why I’m a good teacher.

I’d rather teach than work in technical support, which I’ve done alongside my teaching in many of my roles.

I suppose if you’re in IT people assume that anything to do with computers is right up your street.

Nope, not always.

All of my teaching gigs have also seen me as the tech support person too. Often times this would be on an unofficial basis as it would be easier to “call upon Alex” than contact the IT department… it figures, I suppose.

People don’t realise that IT, just like art, covers such a wide range of skills and subjects.

You can be an artist… specialising in bronze sculpture and never having used watercolours…

You could be an artist… specialising in pop art and never having held a lump of clay in your hands…

You could be a 3D computer artist and wouldn’t know French Ultramarine from a Raw Sienna…

You could be a programmer. You could be a graphic designer. You could be a database supervisor. You could be on the hardware side and specialise in disk drives… and so on.

Ask David Beckham what tyres are needed on a Formula 1 car driving a certain track on certain weather and you wouldn’t expect him to know just because soccer and Formula 1 are both sports, would you?

No, I’m lucky to have a good general knowledge of IT which can be a blessing or a curse at times.

I’ve lost count of the number of barbeques I’ve missed outside because of the host cajoling me in to “take a look at their computer which as been acting ‘funny’” and they assumed that I’d do it…

I’ve lost count of the times I’ve missed the dessert course because once again the host would want me to check out their pc because “it’s been playing up…”

I prefer teaching; the rewards feel better to me and the skills I pass on can last a lifetime… I can fix my own pc and that’s good enough for me. Sure, at a push, I can be persuaded to slip the cover off a pc and get involved in the “robot entrails” inside… but you’ve really got to push me and if I say “yes”, then you’re very lucky indeed. Surprisingly enough I spent 3 years as a computer field service engineer fixing customers’ computers… and I enjoyed it immensely… but for me, teaching is where it’s at.

I’ve always been lucky to have taught in an environment where my students have all been working on different subjects in IT and have usually been on different levels. That would mean for example that one moment I could be sitting with someone helping them to get to grips with queries in a database and then next moment be helping someone sort out their layers in Photoshop.

One moment I could be helping someone fairly new to computers to get to grips with copy and pasting from one directory to another, while the next moment I could be showing someone new to Quark Express how to select different boxes for either text of pictures.

I’ve always enjoyed this type of teaching; it’s always kept my brain alive and effervescing quite nicely. I haven’t yet had the challenge of teaching in an environment where I’ve had to stand in front of a bunch of people and teach the same thing… to people of different abilities, each with a different way of learning…

… but soon that’s going to change.

I’ve gone ahead and applied for some adult teaching posts which I can do in the evenings and weekends at some local colleges. Starting this September I’ll be teaching social media type skills to people wanting to get into blogging as a hobby and for business.

Doesn’t that sound great? I’m going to be teaching something which I’m passionate about myself.

So far I’ve got a couple of these gigs lined up and they’ll run for a few weeks at a time… and I’m really, really looking forward to them… I’m hoping that these gigs will lead to something permanent…then I’d be really happy and life would be sweet.

New media, social media, podcasting, blogging… I love ‘ em all…

There’s no denying that in recent years the common availably of broadband has given social media and social network sites a welcome boost; where people can share their interests, passions and ideas… which has in turn given IT a more lighter tinge as opposed to the techie white shirt and dozen pens in top pocket image Now it’s cool to be geeky.

… and to get the opportunity to start teaching these subjects… what a privilege

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Into That Zone

Lately I’ve been chucking myself more and more into my artwork… watercolours… acrylics… photography… digital artwork… you name it and I’ve been immersing myself totally into it. When I’m in my artwork.. I *always* get into “that” zone… which I’ve mentioned before somewhere in this blog.

Recently I had the privilege of checking out Southampton Art Gallery. Up the stairs and to the right… and there… without a fanfare and without a couple of floating harp-playing angels to guide the way are 3 paintings together that made the whole trip worthwhile… 3 paintings… one by Monet, ’The Church at Vetheuil’, the other by Renoir ‘The Boat on the Lake’ and the one on the end by Pissarro, ‘Louveciennes’… (Upstairs to the left you’ll find Lowrie… and I’ll write about that some other time in another future blog posting… Southampton Art Gallery has his work too…)

I remember the time I went to visit Van Gogh’s Sunflowers at the National Gallery in London.

Having read so much about my favourite artists, about their lives, their inspirations, their muses and so on, somehow seeing Van Gogh’s Sunflowers just there on the wall somehow grabbed my entire emotions and my first sight of it was almost like that famous “contra zoom” scene in the film Jaws when Police Chief Martin Brody is sitting on the beach. (Contra-zoom… Dolly zoom… “trombone shot”…Google it…)

To me there was an “air”, actually it was more like an “aura” around Van Gogh’s Sunflowers… just like to me there’s always an aura around the works of my other favourite artists.

Sure, there was a cluster of bimbling tourists and other people around the Sunflowers, but to me it still would have had that aura had it been hanging on a graffiti covered wall down some crap infested alleyway.

I still find it amazing to know that those actual brush strokes which I saw from only an inch or so away were made by these famous guys.

Sure, like other artists I’ve tried my hand at painting some famous paintings. I’ve painted Monet’s “Parliament”, one of Monet’s Water Lilies and one of Van Gogh’s Sunflowers.

Both, when I paint a famous painting or visit them in a gallery, I try to get into the minds of these guys. For instance, I try to get into the “light” thing with Monet’s works, his total obsession with light, mood, and ambiance.

I try to imagine what these guys would have been musing on while painting. Would Van Gogh have been breathless with excitement at the thought of Gauguin, his hero, shortly coming to stay with him? Was he planning to pick up some more tobacco and booze later that day?

Would Monet have been trying to grab the last few minutes of the light that had inspired him to paint Parliament and these particular water lilies before the light changed?

What about their “background thoughts”?

Were they getting hungry? Were they getting tired? Were their minds occasionally wandering to what they were planning to do that evening? Were their minds dipping into memories of recent events while they were painting? Did they need a pee? You get my drift.

… and did they get into that zone?

I’d bet my life on it that they did… that’s why they painted… I’m sure of it.

To me there’s something “gently” and kindly addictive about getting into that zone when I’m painting. Funnily, it doesn’t happen so much when I’m dabbling with 3d art work… strange…

Watching a a great film can’t capture for me the wondrous magic of seeing a famous painting, although my all time favourite film was on recently and I just had to watch Schindler’s List, as that film has so many levels to it… Anyway, like I say, not even my all time fave films can grab me like a (non-moving) picture by one of my favourite artists.

It’s probably got something to do with the fact that at the end of a movie you’re presented with dozens and dozens of names in the closing credits; everyone from the director, producer all the way to the guy that drives the catering truck … while on a painting there’s only one signature… and even that is by the hand that painted it.

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Yeah… I know…

Courtesy of www.toothpastefordinner.com

Revolving Doors…

“When one door closes…”

… yadda yadda yadda… you get the picture.

Not so much as one door opening and the other one closing, more like going through a set of revolving doors…

Anyway, just finished my first week in my new department. Been given a 6 months contract.

How’s it going?

Ask me in 6 months…

Anyway, a recurring problem has raised it’s ugly head again.

A couple of years ago I came down with vertigo and it lasted for 4 months. Load of meds and the Epley Maneuver and yep, it took 4 months to get rid of… and now it’s back.

New job, loads of meds, Epley Maneuver, 6 month contract…

… enough to make your head spin!

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Dynamic, Intuitive, Go-For-It-Ness…

So I’m on the train on the way home and there’s about 8 people in my carriage.

Pretty quiet as no doubt the passengers are getting over the trails and tribulations of their working day.

This guy on the other side then gets out his mobile ‘phone.

“Yeah hi Steve… it’s Dave…”

He’s talking a bit too loud for my liking… even though I have my earphones on listening to a podcast… he’s still a little too loud…

“Yeah hi… I told you I’d call you when I get more ideas for our site…” he goes on.

Hmm… this might get interesting I think as I pause my MP3 player…

“Yeah… I always get ideas on the train…”

Now he’s kind of looking around like he wants people to hear…

“… as I said in the studio…”

… studio? Yep, now I’m convinced you want an audience…

“… I want a more funky…”

I HATE the word “funky”… so over used… shows a total lack of vocab in my opinion…

“… a more funky homepage… Yeah… uh uh… I want people to really go for it when they see it…”

… ho hum…

“Like I said earlier today…”

… in the studio..?

“… in the studio”…

You said the word “studio” a little too loud like you want to make sure that the passengers get it…

“I’ll’ go over what you guys need to to, but in the meantime… Hello? Hello? You’re breaking up…”

… no.. it’s YOU who’s breaking up… we’re traveling through the New Forest mate… not many trees with mobile masts attached to them… Shame… I wanted to hear more…

He tries a few times to ‘phone back… eventually he gets a signal…

Yippee!

“Yeah hi again…”

Go on.. say “it’s Dave” again… I dare you…

“It’s Dave again…”

I hope he finishes his call before I have to get off at my station… I want to hear all of this…

“Yeah… like I said, I’ll do the creative coding…”

Oh yes… he’s looking around furtively and he sure wants an audience big time…

“… and I’ll funk it up…”

Oh purleeeeeze….

“… like I always do, but what I really want is for that homepage to be real dynamic… er… you know… intuitive…”

Please DON’T say “funky again..!

“… like I said…”

… here it comes…

“… funky…”

Arghh!

“… what I really want is for people to have no way of not clicking on the enter button… yeah… uh huh… I’ll design that…”

Hmmm… he said “I’ll” a little too loud… so that whoever’s listening to him to knows that HE’S the man…. or trying to be…

“… but the whole homepage for me has to be full of dynamic, intuitive go-for-it-ness…”

!

“Yeah… ok… uh huh… ok… yeah… ok…. see you tomorrow in the…”

… studio?

“… studio…”

With a flourish he puts his mobile away… probably expecting a round of applause or for the rest of the passengers to be kneeling and bowing down to him.

So, if anyone sees a website that’s dynamic, intuitive and and has “go-for-it-ness”… let me know…

… sigh…

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Ahhh… It’s Great To Be Back…

… not that I’ve been away mind you…

Do you blog?

Do you know what you’re going to be blogging about tomorrow?

Or the day after?

Well, I’ve been busy helping someone out with their blog which is tied in with their business. I’ve been planning, tweaking, and getting their blog act together so much so, that I’ve planned out their 3 or four blog posts a week until the end of December… all the subjects, with all the graphics… the lot.

It’s so different to what I’ve been used to up until now and it’s been great to have immersed myself into something completely different.

Just what I’ve needed lately to sweep away some of the uncomfortable elements at the start of the year.

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Missing You Pal…

See my previous posting…

Diamond

About a week ago I posted a post about cats…. it was my way of dealing with something which I knew was just around the corner and wanted to get it out while Diamond was still with us… something humerous…

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We used to have 2 cats and a dog.

Since yesterday evening, we have 1 cat and one dog.

We adopted Diamond just over twelve and half years ago with his twin brother, Sapphire.

Diamond got his name from the diamond shaped white patch on his chest and so Sapphire (or “Saffy” as we sometimes called him) seemed a reasonable name for his brother.

Sadly, Saffy was lost at the age of 18 months to an over-speeding car while we still lived in London and so we adopted Spotty to keep Diamond company.

Diamond suffered from chronic cat ‘flu for all of his life. He caught it from his mother via her milk when he was still a kitten and the chronic ‘flu not only affected his right eye, but he was wheezy and had the sniffles constantly.

We were reassured by various vets that Diamond wasn’t in any discomfort and so we pampered him all through his life.

He was the most loving cat we have ever known. He would like nothing better than stretch out on the Lady Wife’s chest while she slumped on the sofa and with his paws out in front of him, snooze and purr away.

Every so often Diamond would get acute ‘flu on top of his chronic illness and always bounced back to his usual vigour, returning to occasionally presenting us with a dead mouse or bird on our front door step.

When we got our present dog, it was Diamond, who after a few apprehensive days, finally made his way over to Prince and raising himself up on his hind legs rubbed his face against Prince’s only to be rewarded with a huge wet doggy lick across his face. The bond between them was made. Spotty bonded with Prince shortly after.

We knew that one day Diamond would succumb to an illness which would take him from us.

We’ve always had pets and owning a pet exposes you to that inevitability which one day you’ll have to face.

With Diamond we knew that the next bout of acute ‘flu could be his last.

A week ago Diamond got sick.

A couple of days after that his breathing became laboured and noisy.

I took him to the local vets and he was given fluids, antibiotic injections and a course of medication for me to give him at home.

I was told that it was remarkable that Diamond was the age of 12 with the condition he had… I guess I should have read between the lines…

Giving tablets to a cat is tricky at the best of times, but with Diamond getting weaker and uncomfortable, it wasn’t a pleasant task to do. Getting fluids into him and his dissolvable medication was just as unpleasant as he’d spit out the liquid as I’d try gently to administer to him with the pipette.

He was uncomfortable.

Over the course of 2 days he lost so much weight that he no longer looked like the Diamond we’ve always known.

Yesterday evening as his breathing became increasingly laboured and weaker by the minute, my wife audibly echoed my own silent thoughts…

“… it’s time…”

It was late and my wife ‘phoned the local vets to tell them that Diamond had taken a turn for the worse.

5 minutes later we were at the vets with Diamond… we didn’t need a pet carrier box as by that time Diamond was so weak.

On arriving, Diamond was taken in and put on oxygen.

He didn’t respond as expected and continued struggling for breath.

We were told that Diamond probably wouldn’t last the night and that he was seriously ill.

He was dying.

So, through tear-filled eyes I signed the euthanasia consent form by which time a line had been put into Diamond’s leg.

My wife couldn’t sign it. Making the decision had been hard enough.

As a wave of eternal peace and rest waved over Diamond, we stroked him and petted him until his last breath and for a good few minutes after his heart had beat for the last time as our tears rolled down our faces and dripped around him.

We thank Diamond for having been a part of our lives for over twelve years.

We cherish the memories that he brought us and remember the times when simply being together was treasure in itself.

We miss him so much.

We miss him so much it hurts.

Cyclists

This picture reminds me that down here in this part of the country there are just so many cyclists.

Nearly every road you drive down has cyclists…

Every train I get on has people with their fold-away or non-fold-away bikes…

So many cyclists…

Why does this picture remind me of cyclists?

Well, in this field you wouldn’t have a problem finding a place to park your bike… would you?

You Expect Mois To Eat This Rubbish?

Just what is it with cats?

We have two cats and a dog and even though our Furry Kids share the same place in our hearts, to me they could be light years away from each other when it comes to food.

Dogs are more like Homer Simpson-esque men of this world when it comes to eating.

They’re not too finicky, in fact they’re quite happy to munch on something totally unmentionable, eat the same thing over and over and when if comes to Cordon Bleu, it’s a case of “what’s that?” while they’re busy working industriously noshing through the smorgasbord of a smelly bin…

Dogs even earn their food.

Our dog does.

He “earns” his food by doing things like… er… bark… guard the house… and… er… take us for walks… chase balls and frisbees… and even occasionally brings them back…lick himself in the most inappropriate places when we have guests… you know… dog stuff…

Cats on the other hand…

Our cats eat, sleep and go to the toilet… and… er… that’s about it…

… but when it comes to food, cats have got it sussed, they really have… believe me… they have… trust me…

When people first get a kitty, they tend to feed them something bland… so as not to upset their tiny tummies… and little kitty will quite happily eat away… probably on some bland boiled fresh fish, or some mid-priced kitty food.

Cat gets older, we change their diet to more “grown up” cat food until that day…

… yes that day…

One day a cat might not eat it’s food… heavens above… what a disaster… we don’t think that we humans ourselves sometimes go through phases where we don’t eat as much as we usually do… but as kitties tend to rule this world and us mere humans are only living in it as their servants, what do we do?

We run out and buy more expensive cat food… for example something with the word “improved” written on it… as if kitty knows that it’s more expensive… and they do…

… and that’s all it takes for a very bright light bulb to illuminate in kitty’s brain…

“… ah ha!” he thinks… “I get it, if I don’t eat all of what I’m given then I get something more expensive… not necessarily better… but yes, more expensive…

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m an animal lover and I also don’t want to sound paranoid, but how the heck does a cat know that you’ve actually bought something more expensive?

Then what happens?

For a while kitty quite happily tucks into the more expensive brand and us humans think that all is well… and that the food problem has been sorted out and we can all live happily ever after…

… until one day you get that look… that look that says, “… you expect mois to eat this rubbish? Come on biped, we upped the ante last time didn’t we? Let’s do it again… now how about something even more expensive? Something with ‘Superb’ or ‘New improved’ written on it this time?”

In false hope we wait for kitty to get hungry enough to eat it…

… wrong…

Kitty will quite happily only sniff or even eat some of what you place in the dish for days on ead only for you to end up throwing out more kitty food than kitty has been eating… They’ll quite happily go on a hunger strike making you feel like the cruelest human on God’s earth…

It’s a war of minds and even though I like to think Im higher up the evolutionary tree than Kitty… Kitty ends up winning.

… so off you go again to the supermarket.

Up the ante… higher up the scale of “New Improved” and “Better Tasting” until kilo for kilo kitty’s food costs more than our own food.

Our kitties don’t know this, but we’ve more or less reached the end of the scale when it comes to price and superlatives when it comes to buying their food.

… and they’re already starting to give us that look all over again.

Short of serving them beluga caviar followed by lobster thermador in a golden dish and then wiping their whiskers after their meal with silver threaded silk napkins, they know that us daft humans will have our heart strings and purse strings stretched even more to seek out the “99% Of Cats Prefer…” and “New Even More Improved…” and so on.

I don’t know about you, but if I come back reincarnated I want to come back as any of our cats…whether I have to lose my knackers or not… it’s a small price to pay… hmm, maybe not that small… (am I digging a hole here?)

Many a time I’m off to work and our kitties are stretched out lazily on their current preferred armchair or sofa only to give me that, “… and close the door quietly on your way out… “, look , only for me to return home in the evening and find them in exactly the same positions… not a whisker has moved since I left for work that morning.

“Have they been like that all day?” I ask the Lady Wife…

“… like what?” she’ll reply… Lady Wife is under their spell… hook, line and sinker…

I sigh… “Lucky swines…” or words to that effect…

As the kitties yawn, stretch and lazily muster up just about enough energy to open their eyes they’re ready for supper… or their breakfast… or whatever… I’m sure cats exist in their own time zone…

… and yes, while Lady Wife lays out their finest fresh Dover sole served with king prawn sauce followed by the best shrimp, salmon, sea-horse souffle, angel fish chowder and rainbow trout that money can buy, dished out in Louis IV crystal dishes all laid out on a cloth woven from the rarest unicorn hair, they’re each already eyeing me up…

“… you expect mois to eat this rubbish?”

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With Just A Hint Of Blue…

Man, I so peeved off with this British winter… grey… grey… grey… a total, unadulterated and distinct lack of colour… wind… rain… cold… and grey… grey… grey… and more damn grey…

Yesterday for an hour or so there was a hint of blue in the sky and even that little splosh of colour made all the difference to me.

When we first moved down here to this neck of the woods (or forest) I remember saying to someone that I missed the colour red for some reason. Up in London there seeems to be more red about…. strange that… missing a certain colour.

I remember reading years ago that when Terry Waite and the other hostages were released, part of their rehabilitation treatment included looking through big books with pages of solid colours as they had been deprived of seeing colours throughout their captivity. I can really understand that… I suppose it’s the artist side in me.

Just the other day, during yet another drab and dismally coloured sky with the rain peeing down and with more grey… grey… grey, I whacked on my headphones under my coat hood and cranked up a “Natures Sounds” piece of music on my MP3 player.

You know the type of music; soft gentle new-age music wafting in an out of ambient sounds of a bubbling brook, distant birds twittering, that sort of thing and it really began to fool my mind into feeling like it was a spring or summer day.

I’ve done that a couple of times since and it seems to do the trick. Bit like light box therapy for my brain.

Maybe you could give it a go too if this drab grey winter is getting to you.

Here’s to the sun staying up a little longer and longer each day as we head towards spring with the ever increasing longer day light hours.

But please… no more grey!

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